I can’t believe, it’s all over. My beloved journey has already came to an end. Sixty three days, just sixty three days, and one hundred and one post. It’s over, yes, it’s all over. The Den of Dreams has collapsed. The Dragon Warrior is defeated.
I have never so cold while writing ever. Even though it’s 27 degree Celsius outside, I am cold. Very cold. My fingers are colder than they have ever been. I am feeling a shiver all around me. Dread. Fear. Tension. Despair.
For the first time in my entire blogging journey, I dreaded opening my laptop. My laptop. The beloved portal to the Den of Dreams. For the first time, I was shaking so much. So much of fear, so much of nervousness.
It’s all over. I can’t see you again. I can’t read your wonderful words. I can’t view through your eyes. I can’t express my gratitude anymore. I can’t share my views. I can’t share my pain. I can’t share my laughs. I can’t cherish the precious moments whenever one of you liked me, talked with me and joined in my journey.
I don’t know if anybody would miss me. Maybe yes, maybe not. Maybe you would secretly be happy that I left. But I would certainly miss you. More than any words can explain. I would miss our each and every moments together.
I wanted to do so many things before bidding my goodbye. I wanted to thank everyone of you. I wanted to write a letter to my beloved “elder sister” Nina, I wanted to talk with Lily of the Virgo, I wanted to visit Lumis with Elyan White, I wanted to discuss cricket with Ink ’em Down, I wanted to ask Sheree about her travels, I wanted to read all of your answers, I wanted Alex Carey to see my blog once, I wanted to celebrate my birthday with you, I wanted to create my own award on WordPress, and a hundreds and thousands of things. I wanted to stay with you forever. So many dreams in the Den of the Dreams. But now as the Den collapses, all the dreams are buried deep, deep inside.
It’s the end, I know. And standing in the dying light of the dusk, shivering with fear of losing you all, I feel quite fearless as well. I can tell anything I want without having the fear to lose anything else.
So, let me say something that I always wanted to shout out: “Haters are going to hate, but for their scorns, I will never change myself! I will follow my own path, even if it means standing up alone!”
And yes in my journey so far I have learned something important: “Blogging is not all utopia. You can get hurt as well.”
And I also wanted to speak out to my favourite bloggers for the last time…
Sheree, you would always be my beloved! I can never forget my gratitude to you! You have let me touch the stars of my dreams. Please do keep coming in my dreams!
Tatterhood, you were my very first friend in the blogging world and always close to my heart. I know, just today morning, I promised you I’d be there with you always and now I have to leave.
Renee, you were, you are, and always would be deep, deep down in my heart. I can never forget your kindness and compassion and care you had given me.
Nina, you are my true figure of courage and inspiration. If there is one light that never fades, that’s you. You are the very flame of goodness that can never be extinguished. Your little sister Mira has to leave now, though.
Crimson, you are the very best teacher my journey has brought me to. Always an ocean of knowledge, and showing me the path I should go. You brought the world to my eyes.
And at last, I bid my apologies to anyone I had offended or had by chance put in discomfort. I really had not mean to. I am so sorry.
And thank you for all those three hundred and thirty one people who had been with me in my journey.
Parting are always hard I know but never have I cried so much at leaving someone since the age of 11, when my previous best friend left.
The days ahead look very empty indeed. I would miss you all from the deepest of my core.
And the last words, about my name. I know, and I am blessed to have so many nicknames all around the world. Ms. Warrior from Jessica E Larsen, Mira from my beloved Nina, and Sophie for most of you. I am sorry, I can never reveal my true name, but my favourite thing to call myself is Shizen, which means nature.
I am so sorry that I can’t tell you the reason for parting. It’s painful, for me and I really don’t want to speak it out.
It’s a long tiring post, I know, and I had been hyper emotional. But well, it’s all over. Thank you so much for being with me.
Dragon Warrior (yes, my nickname to myself, Shizen)